replAced kellY clArkson witH the crAnberriez on my lAb'z pAndora~
beeN repeAting "dreAmz" theZe coupLe of dAyz...:
"oh my life...iz chAnging everydAy - in every possibLe wAy. oh my dreAmz...it'Z neveR quite az it seemZ...neveR quiTe az it seemZ..."
i woKe uP thiZ morninG froM a dreAm - a weiRd dreAm of me tAking photogrAphz of someoNe i thinK i knoW buT i do noT knoW....and she seemZ to be the mAin attrAction of somewheRe liKe an artiztic palAce? she wAz like a "chAmeleon" bcuZ she wouLd modeL arouNd and her attiRe wouLd bleNd into whicheveR bAckdrop she'z @....hmM, my muM? buT not reAlly...?
welL, i wAz meZmerized.
wheN i woKe uP, my brAin/miNd felT exhAusted (eveN afteR a fAir ~8hrz of resT).
i felT liKe a computeR witH a sped up processoR thAt rAn overnighT...
and once i woKe, the processoR speed stArted to rAmp dowN...
i'M beginninG to feeL thAt our brAinz worK aloT moRe wheN we're dreAming (juZ thAt differenT pArtz of the brAin are @ worK?) thAn wheN we'Re awAke? and thiZ iz necessAry to projecT ourselveZ into a 4-dimensionAl imaginAry spAce...soundZ logicAl~
i wAz out on an imprompTu dinneR witH pAul.....who iz like 8 or 9 yrs oldeR thAn me?
asiAnz somehoW overexprezZ the "looK-youngeR-thAn-you-are" geNe....thougH i'M 26, i looK (yeA and behAve...) alot youngeR~ usuAlly, i get cArded @ bArz and reztAurantz wheN i ordeR alcoholic drinkZ bcuZ almoZ alL americAnz thinK i aM beloW 21 - moZ thinK i am in highschooL (akA junioR colleGe in singApore).
howeveR, pAul either lookZ hiZ aGe....or mAybe abit oldeR.
juZ now...on thiZ new chArmcity circulAtor buZ thingie, a coupLe chAtted witH uz and theY thoughT pAul'z my fAther~!!!!
hahAaa........i juZ kepT cAlling hiM "dAddy" thereafteR~
me wenT bAck to lAb brieflY to retrieVe my chArger befoRe heAding off for grocerying witH jerrY and liYe...
the suN wAz shininG stronglY az i wAlked to the lAb...and whiLe i wAz returninG, i cuT througH the hozpitAl in order to deposiT a checK @ the bAnk mAchine....(usuAlly i wAlk outside alonG orleAnz)...
i stopPed by the informAtion counteR to borroW a peN to endorZe my checK, and thAt'z wheN and wheRe i meT yvonNe.
yvonNe joKed about hAving 6 penZ and beinG lefT witH onlY 1...bcuZ peopLe wAlk by to borroW penZ from the informAtion counteR and neveR returned theM...
she offeRed me a booK on her desK az a bAcking for me to sigN my checK. we chAtted abiT and she sAid i look liKe i'M 20 or 21...theN she lowered my aGe to 12 or 13? LOL....so i toLd her i'M here for my ph.D.....reseArching on breAst cAncer.
theN, yvonNe grAciouzly sAid she hAz breAst cAncer...and thAt surpriZed me...i congrAtulated her and sAid i aM so glAd to see her stronG and heAlthy. ;)
"iz it rAining?" yvonNe suddenlY asKed...and yeA, it wAz! the suddeN chAnge in weAther wAz kindA crAzy.....yvonNe stood uP and wAlked towArdz the windoW...and she told me hoW she loveZ to wAlk in the rAin...
and i thoughT i wAz the onlY persoN who loveZ to wAlk in the rAin.....
howeveR, she loveZ to wAlk in verY heAvy downpourZ....and i loVe to wAlk slowlY in drizzleZ....
she sAid rAin giveZ heR a very peAceful feelinG~
i wondeR if she agreeZ thAt the coLd rAindropz bleNd in perfectlY witH wArm teArz thAt floW dowN one'Z cheekZ???
meetinG yvonNe encourAgez me in my worK........hopinG to somehoW creAte more breAzt cAncer survivorZ...
afteR thAt, pAul wAz tired so he heAded hoMe...initiAlly thiZ wAz plAnned to be a ktV nighT. :(
i so feeL the need to sinG my heArt ouT. bAck in singApore.......i alwAyz sinG aloNe @ kboX wheN i feeL negAtivity.
so i risKed wAlking aloNe in the ghettO areAz and sAng for an expensiVe 1 houR~!!! lookZ liKe the peopLe heRe don'T sinG ktV aloNe.......the koreAn owneR looKed ultrA surpriZed wheN she sAw me aloNe @ the end of the stAirz.
one of the songZ i repeAted mAny timeZ.....me tryinG to mAzter it siNce bAolin requesTed for thiZ sonG previouzlY:
"mAtchsticK heAven" - bY pAnda
i thoughT abouT my heAven whiLe i sAng the sonG repeAtedly:
foR once i thoughT i arriVed @ a perfecT mAtchstick heAven. wheRe the suN shineZ. wheRe the cloudZ forM heArtz. wheRe the heAvenly birdZ chirP.
buT... everY mAtchstick getZ extinguisHed. everY suN wilL eventuAlly die. everY cloudY heArt getZ diztorTed. everY chirP fAdez out into sileNce.
somehoW... the mAtchstick wAz extinguisHed. the sunrAyz weRe blocked. the heArty cloudZ weRe blowN awAy. the heAvenly chirpZ fAded into deAd sileNce.
juZ az there'Z alwAyz a possibLe withiN impossibLe, there'Z alwAyz imperfectioN withiN unimperfectioN.