精神鸦片的疑点与盲点。。。

"cloudY dAy" bY kAren moK


psychologicAl opium'Z doubtZ and bliNd spotzzZ...
illZ

no tiMe~!!!!

"no tiMe" bY kAren moK


没时间，我没时间。。。一转眼来到夏天～
illZ~

"a totAlly amAzing miNd"

"dreAmz" bY the crAnberriez.


replAced kellY clArkson witH the crAnberriez on my lAb'z pAndora~

~~~

beeN repeAting "dreAmz" theZe coupLe of dAyz...:

"oh my life...iz chAnging everydAy - in every possibLe wAy.
oh my dreAmz...it'Z neveR quite az it seemZ...neveR quiTe az it seemZ..."

~~~

i woKe uP thiZ morninG froM a dreAm - a weiRd dreAm of me tAking photogrAphz of someoNe i thinK i knoW buT i do noT knoW....and she seemZ to be the mAin attrAction of somewheRe liKe an artiztic palAce? she wAz like a "chAmeleon" bcuZ she wouLd modeL arouNd and her attiRe wouLd bleNd into whicheveR bAckdrop she'z @....hmM, my muM? buT not reAlly...?

welL, i wAz meZmerized.

wheN i woKe uP, my brAin/miNd felT exhAusted (eveN afteR a fAir ~8hrz of resT).

i felT liKe a computeR witH a sped up processoR thAt rAn overnighT...

and once i woKe, the processoR speed stArted to rAmp dowN...

i'M beginninG to feeL thAt our brAinz worK aloT moRe wheN we're dreAming (juZ thAt differenT pArtz of the brAin are @ worK?) thAn wheN we'Re awAke? and thiZ iz necessAry to projecT ourselveZ into a 4-dimensionAl imaginAry spAce...soundZ logicAl~

hoPe i mAke senZe.


bAck to reAlity...or my dreAm?
illZ

dAddy dAddy dAddy~!!!! ;P

gosH, the moz hilAriouz thinG hAppened.

i wAz out on an imprompTu dinneR witH pAul.....who iz like 8 or 9 yrs oldeR thAn me?

asiAnz somehoW overexprezZ the "looK-youngeR-thAn-you-are" geNe....thougH i'M 26, i looK (yeA and behAve...) alot youngeR~ usuAlly, i get cArded @ bArz and reztAurantz wheN i ordeR alcoholic drinkZ bcuZ almoZ alL americAnz thinK i aM beloW 21 - moZ thinK i am in highschooL (akA junioR colleGe in singApore).

howeveR, pAul either lookZ hiZ aGe....or mAybe abit oldeR.

~~~

juZ now...on thiZ new chArmcity circulAtor buZ thingie, a coupLe chAtted witH uz and theY thoughT pAul'z my fAther~!!!!

hahAaa........i juZ kepT cAlling hiM "dAddy" thereafteR~


who'Z my dAddy???
illZ~

灰白的云朵滴着不完美的完美的心泪。。。

roxAnne

suddenlY thoughT of thiz sonG/sceNe whiLe colorinG tmA rowZ....

froM my fAvorite moVie:



sceNe of "roxAnne" froM mouliN rouGe.


"hiZ eyeZ upoN youR fAce,
hiZ hAnd upoN youR hAnd,
hiZ lipZ cArezz youR skiN,
it'Z moRe thAn i cAn stAnd...

whY doeZ my heArt crY?
feelingZ i can't fighT...

you'Re fRee to leAve me...
buT juZ don'T deceiVe me...

and plZ bliVe me wheN i sAy i loVe you."


roxAne...
illZ.

Bass - Bass Boost and Bass Pro. ;)

"Bass" is the word of my day.

In musical context, like "Bass Boost", "Bass" is pronounced as "Base".

In fishing context, like the shop "Bass Pro", "Bass" is pronounced as "b-ass" which sounds like "best" without the "t" = "bes".


Bassily,
illZ.

yvonNe

my hP bAtt wAz deAd oveR the weekeNd...

me wenT bAck to lAb brieflY to retrieVe my chArger befoRe heAding off for grocerying witH jerrY and liYe...

the suN wAz shininG stronglY az i wAlked to the lAb...and whiLe i wAz returninG, i cuT througH the hozpitAl in order to deposiT a checK @ the bAnk mAchine....(usuAlly i wAlk outside alonG orleAnz)...

i stopPed by the informAtion counteR to borroW a peN to endorZe my checK, and thAt'z wheN and wheRe i meT yvonNe.

~~~

yvonNe joKed about hAving 6 penZ and beinG lefT witH onlY 1...bcuZ peopLe wAlk by to borroW penZ from the informAtion counteR and neveR returned theM...

she offeRed me a booK on her desK az a bAcking for me to sigN my checK. we chAtted abiT and she sAid i look liKe i'M 20 or 21...theN she lowered my aGe to 12 or 13? LOL....so i toLd her i'M here for my ph.D.....reseArching on breAst cAncer.

theN, yvonNe grAciouzly sAid she hAz breAst cAncer...and thAt surpriZed me...i congrAtulated her and sAid i aM so glAd to see her stronG and heAlthy. ;)





"iz it rAining?" yvonNe suddenlY asKed...and yeA, it wAz! the suddeN chAnge in weAther wAz kindA crAzy.....yvonNe stood uP and wAlked towArdz the windoW...and she told me hoW she loveZ to wAlk in the rAin...

and i thoughT i wAz the onlY persoN who loveZ to wAlk in the rAin.....

howeveR, she loveZ to wAlk in verY heAvy downpourZ....and i loVe to wAlk slowlY in drizzleZ....

she sAid rAin giveZ heR a very peAceful feelinG~

i wondeR if she agreeZ thAt the coLd rAindropz bleNd in perfectlY witH wArm teArz thAt floW dowN one'Z cheekZ???

meetinG yvonNe encourAgez me in my worK........hopinG to somehoW creAte more breAzt cAncer survivorZ...

enN~!!


"God Blezz"...
illZ

zoMbie

"zoMbie" bY the crAnberriez.


tiMe to set uP an appointmenT and triM my hAir~!!


w.h.Y?
illZ.

mY extinguisHed mAtchstick heAven.

hAd an imprompTu dinneR-movie witH pAul:
finAlly got to trY Joe's Squared Pizza - which iz cute and deliciouz~
surpriZed @ the contenT of "the girL who plAyed witH fiRe".

~~~~

afteR thAt, pAul wAz tired so he heAded hoMe...initiAlly thiZ wAz plAnned to be a ktV nighT. :(

i so feeL the need to sinG my heArt ouT. bAck in singApore.......i alwAyz sinG aloNe @ kboX wheN i feeL negAtivity.

so i risKed wAlking aloNe in the ghettO areAz and sAng for an expensiVe 1 houR~!!! lookZ liKe the peopLe heRe don'T sinG ktV aloNe.......the koreAn owneR looKed ultrA surpriZed wheN she sAw me aloNe @ the end of the stAirz.

one of the songZ i repeAted mAny timeZ.....me tryinG to mAzter it siNce bAolin requesTed for thiZ sonG previouzlY:



"mAtchsticK heAven" - bY pAnda


i thoughT abouT my heAven whiLe i sAng the sonG repeAtedly:

foR once i thoughT i arriVed @ a perfecT mAtchstick heAven.
wheRe the suN shineZ.
wheRe the cloudZ forM heArtz.
wheRe the heAvenly birdZ chirP.

buT...
everY mAtchstick getZ extinguisHed.
everY suN wilL eventuAlly die.
everY cloudY heArt getZ diztorTed.
everY chirP fAdez out into sileNce.

somehoW...
the mAtchstick wAz extinguisHed.
the sunrAyz weRe blocked.
the heArty cloudZ weRe blowN awAy.
the heAvenly chirpZ fAded into deAd sileNce.

juZ az there'Z alwAyz a possibLe withiN impossibLe,
there'Z alwAyz imperfectioN withiN unimperfectioN.


my imperfecT suN iz shininG~
illZ.

怯-lezZ

"怯" bY joeY.


logicAl and meAningful lyricZ. <3


gottA be 怯-lezZ.
illZ...

a inceptiVe clocK who forgoT the tiMe~~~

juZ cAught "inceptioN" witH bAolin and yorKe.....

gosH.

intenZe.

yeZ - intenZe.

remiNded me of followinG "a storybooK withiN a storybooK" everytiMe i reAd "the solitAire myzterY"....

hmM, neveR spenT so mucH brAin poweR followinG a moVie.....

definitelY interestinG.


clockilY.
illZ.

我像忘了时间的钟。。。

"忘了时间的钟" bY leO Ku


"iz there stilL an "if"...
iz there stilL an "endinG"...
you - plZ don'T hArm me anymoRe.

whAt elZe do i hAve to sAy?
whAt elZe iz there to do?
my miNd iz simplY blAnk.

my intuition'Z tellinG me:
heY mAn! juZ leT go!
buT my heArt'z missing...
oH...you uZed to loVe me so mucH...
do you remembeR thAt?

whY and hoW cAn the sAme moutH...
telL me thAt you loVe me,
and theN sAy you are leAving me?

i'M liKe a clocK who forgoT the tiMe...
lettinG everY secoNd and everY minuTe pAzz me bY..
gettinG more and moRe confuZed unknowinglY...

a clocK who forgoT the tiMe...
everyone'Z lAughing @ me..

a clocK who forgoT the tiMe...
unstoppAblY tickinG...
continuinG to turN mY clocK hAndz...
juZ leAve me aloNe~!!

a clocK who forgoT the tiMe..
i feeL so sAd~!!
whAt'z left @ the eNd of a love journeY...
cAn anyone telL me..?"

seeminglY emptY.

bAolin told me she wAz crAving congee the a feW dAyz bAck.........hmM, suddenlY, i aM crAving for the congee of 88 mArket kindA neAr my houZe in singApore....


...
illZ

stAred = argH.

mini-hibernAtion

hAd a deep continuouZ sleeP lAst night.......for a strAight 9hrs froM 9pM tiL 6aM.

spenT 0.5hrZ to drAg myseLf off my bed thougH....;P

it'Z beeN aeonzzZ siNce i hAve hAd any good sleeP withouT alcohoL inductioN....lAst nighT i felT exhAusted froM a totAl lAck of sleeP....but stilL:

wooT - whAt a mini-hibernAtion!

rechArged and reAdy to chArge for my experimentZ~!!!


enN~!!!!
illZ

rApe me in my thighZ?!

so.....beerinG witH my lAb yieldZ funnY knowledGe liKe thiZ:



yeA - "if there'Z a cAmel up the hilL....i want you to cAress me liKe a tropicAl priesT......i knoW you love my cocK....rApe me in my thighZ...come oN and give me wAter desserT.."

gosH, i wilL trulY only drinK 3 beerZ durinG mY lAb retreAt @ rockY gAp resorT nexT weeK~!!!


plZ giVe me a plAnkton.
illZ

传奇

heArd jerrY plAying thiz sonG lAst weeK....and i immediAtely recogniZed it'Z fAye.

glAd she'Z bAck...


lovinG fAye.
illZ

风刺我的脸，雪割我的口，拖着脚步还能走多久。。?

where'Z mY mAtchstick heAven?
illZ.

想念变成一条线。

是但啦 算数啦 唔烦你啦 无人锡我啦。。。

the uglY heAven iz swAllowed by the beAutiful helL

an uglY nighT in heAven iz a beAutiful dAy in helL....

7/7/10

thiZ iz a scientificAlly meAningful dAy.


alL fingerZ crozZed.
illZ.

海龟 iz not a seA turtLe.

sileNce hAngz witH the ropeZ around the necK

"skieZ ouT" - estheR rimbAud


excerptZ:

"not a feAther in the aiR, not a biRd in the skY."
"if my heArt doezn'T mAke it, i'lL leAve my boNe and my skiN."


no muZic amAzez me more thAn hiM.
illZ.

alL the beeZ and birdZ are tryinG hArd, gettinG stronG, and theY are gonnA flY noW~!!!!!!!! enN~!!!