Monday, October 29, 2012

in honoR of frAnkenstorm...


"heAvy rAin" by wawA~


"
frAnkly...i did not purpozely...
run into both of you along the streeT...
i am hesitAting...if i shouLd hide...
or let you notice my preseNce.

the rAindropz from the skY...
slipPed into my heArt from my eyez...
i'M contemplAting...if i shouLd hide awAy from you,
if i shouLd hide awAy froM thiz torrentiAl rAin...

the heAvy rAin...iz nonstoP...
my heArt...iz confuZed.
plz brinG me to a plAce withouT loVe.


the heAvy rAin...iz nonstoP...
my heArt...hAz lost itz wAy.
plz brinG me to a plAce withouT loVe.

"

wondeR if there'z a song abouT 大风?

my fAmily'z reAlly worried about me........i thinK it should be fine. buT still, there'z alwAyz a risk of ultimAte disasteR in timez of a huGe hurricAne storM...hopefullY frAnkenstorm will not be lethAl.


hmM...
illZ.

Friday, October 26, 2012

forgetfuL feAr.


"feAr" by stephAnie suN.


undeliberAtely rememberinG?
illZ...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

aigoO..?















I thought alcohol iz suppozed to help one fall asleep...

But, somehow, even after tranzlating my autumn song...hmm, perhapz 2 beerz are not enough to have any effect on me anymore. I remember the fleeting happiness with some alcohol intake...where did that go?

~~~

The past ~3 weekz were especially horrible.

The undezirable lower back pain waz back to haunt me...the incorrigible torture of not being able to even bend my back to wear socks - which waz awfully similar to when I first suffered thoze unfortunate lumbar stress fracturez back in army dayz a decade ago.

Why muz thiz recur after a decade?!

The doctor prezcribed me Ibuprofen (which i realized I waz allergic to...not juz Aspirin but the entire NSAID family?!)...which increazed my suffering hahAa...a valuable lesson learnt.

Then grAce suggezted going for a deep tissue massage...since the pain should be due to muscle strain...hmm, the pain increazed after the massage, but after a day of increazed pain, I actually felt alot better - thankfully~!! I think...either the awkward "naked" deep tissue massage experience worked...or perhaps my body decided that he haz tortured me enough for now.

Either way, I am thankful...and I hope the pain will not be aggravated from now on...

Before the back pain episodez...my eyez were severely inflamed for a few weekz...apparently due to pollen allergiez.

Az sfG noted...I waz literally falling apart...

~~~

Lab work haz not been that smooth sailing too... aigoO...

~~~

And all theze happened when I had to crozz over to my 29th year of life.

I guezz thiz iz officially the worzt bday I have spent ever. Usually, I would plan a day to spend on my own...but thiz year, I wazn't even in the mood to do so. The saving grace waz the impromptu dinner when kyunG invited me over for dinner...and her kennY iz forever adorable~! Dined in the warmth of a complete family when I am so far from home~ Hmm...thiz iz officially the bezt worzt bday ever.












I remember...makmAk told me before, the 29th year of life iz alwayz tough and filled with hurdlez to crozz...perhapz that'z a family curze?

Realizing I am pretty old now...I waz telling kyunG how I think I am not living my life to the fullest, and there are definitely alot more I can do in my life.

Alot alot more that I could and I want to.

And at the same time, re-realizing how fragile life iz...and that life can end at any unexpected time. I hope to be mindful of thiz fact all the time.


nitezzZ...
illZ.

"it doezn'T mAtter to me..."

it'z fAll (autumN)~!!!

the seAzon where treez loze all theiR leAvez...

doez the lozz signifY sAdnezz? or relief? it'z liKe shedding all your troublez...and finAlly abLe to enteR slumberlAnd in peAce.

~~~

leAvez do fAll bAck in singApore too...and i nAturally sing thiz sonG when i see fAlling leAvez...:

~~~


"it doezn'T mAtter to me..." by a*meI


"
leAvez fAll everydAy...
especiAlly tonighT.
az the wiNd blowzzZ...
i droP a teAr witH everY piece of fAllen leAf.

heArtz breAk every nighT...
who do theY hAve fAith in?
wheN the contrAct of loVe iz deztroYed,
hoW shouLd one feeL?

mAybe there shouLdn't be any remorZe and regreT.
and the fAllen leAvez shouLd still be loyAlly safekepT.
a sillY heArt...so sillY thAt it criez withouT teArz...

it doezn'T mAtter to me...
i'M coLd az ice and insipid az wAter...
i won't alloW a dreAm to invAde my tightlY locKed heArt...
wheN loVe iz the onlY deAdknot...
and rumorz spreAd of a brokeN loVe...
i would rAther be a fAlling leAf cArried awAy by the wiNd...

it doezn'T mAtter to me...
my heArt'z been brokeN and i hAve cried...
i onlY know thAt lovinG someone iz nAturally righT...
but whY doez love ofteN leAd someone into a trAp?
when the worLd iz shrouded by a dusT of loVe...
i'd rAther be the finAl piece leAf to fAll...
"

defoliAtion...
illZ.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

小说。


"littLe tAlkz" by omAm


brilliAnt lyricz...whicH mAkez me thinK.

i agRee thAt wordz should be dizregArded if they aRe pArt of a screAm.


illZ.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

29tH?

thiz wilL be an intereztinG yeAr in my life.
illZ.............................

a requieM.


"requieM for a dreAm" on piAno by xiAnning.

trulY hope to be plAying thiz tune nonstoP on a piAno.

i wondeR wheN wouLd thAt be...or wilL thAt ever hAppen?

~~~

wheN a dreAm diez...wilL it reincArnate into a fAntasy?
illZ...

g t i g B

heard thiz song playing while i waz driving home:


"sobeR" by pinK.

sucH a good screAming sonG~!!

feelz like removinG my sobernezz with alcohoL, but i've leArnt how not to succumb to the seduction of liqouR.

now, i need to be sobeR.


whY?