i senT a lovemAil to my inboX.

yupz, i senT an emAil to myseLf tonighT.

it iz verY differenT to actuAlly tyPe out whAt i hAve beeN tellinG myseLf in my miNd.

az if......a figmenT of my imAgination hAz mAterialized...digitAlly.

kY toLd me befoRe...perhApz i shouLd wriTe dowN whAtever unhAppinezz i hAd on a piece of pAper, and theN teAr it up and trAsh it. thAt waz a whiLe bAck...wheN somethinG thAt botheRed me aloT wAz throwN in my fAce durinG a huGe quArrel.

of courZe, i didn'T do thAt.



"love letteR for myseLf" bY fAye wonG.

"
the higheR your expectAtionz...the loweR you degrAde yourseLf.
~~~
to consoLe yourseLf...
you hAve to seriouzlY remembeR your hAppy momentzzZ...
to loVe yourseLf...
iz a principLe you picKed up froM the flooR of life~
~~~
writinG thiz elegAnt loVe letteR...
uzinG wordzzZ spokeN to myseLf...
uzinG it az my heAvenly booK...
if i don'T loVe myseLf...
how do i fAll in loVe?
hoW do i pAzz on pozitivitY to the one i loVe?
~~~
plz don'T be sAd...
i wilL alwAyz idoliZe you...
if you wAnt moRe sympAthy...
theN you hAve to firsT instAll a firsT aid boX.
~~~
whAtever you do...
don'T expecT prAizez.
you hAve to stAy stronG untiL the end...
and theN you cAn extend your concerN to the otheR...
~~~
you hAve to throW awAy the toY in your hAnd...
so thAt you cAn leArn how to sleeP peAcefully...
afteR crAwling througH the deepesT trencH...
you hAve to unwillinglY belieVe the goldeN wordzzZ fouNd withiN the miRe.
"

tonight'z a speciAl nighT, cuz i am inveztigAting whetheR the cAuze of my hivezzZ iz in my houze. and here i aM, bunkinG on the futoN in bhoP'z office.

the hivezzZ are seriouzlY botherinG me...and i am stilL puzzLed and helplezZ.


lovemAil,
illZ.