ddAo.

Can't believe I missed this song until this month:


"doG dAyz aRe oveR" bY Florence + The Machine

"The horses are coming...so you better run."

~~~

I waited for an hour on a cool and dark walkway opposite Patterson Park, and it rained for abit too.

Meanwhile, I texted him, emailed him right outside his apartment - no reply.

At the one-hour mark, I called his number, and he picked up. Talked for abit...mainly a one-way conversation from me, and then I left without the meeting that I initiated.

I think, if someone was stuck in the bathroom for an hour, something bad must have happened to that person. I am still human, so I do hope he is ok...and he sounded dopey...slurring some of his words.

Despite standing/sitting right outside his apartment for one straight hour, I didn't feel any anger. Because I recognize that he simply didn't get any of my texts/messages - I can't blame someone not in the know of things. But the disappointment kind of hurt.

But did he really...not know? Why was the crooked blind adjusted right after my first text? Perhaps it's his puppy who jumped so high? And you don't have to slide open your iPhone to read an incoming text...even if it doesn't say "Read" on my phone, the texts could still be read since the beginning. I am too observant. However, I still remained calm, with more disappointment.

It's the usual procrastination idea when he told me he will talk to me only tomorrow.

But, there is always a tomorrow.

~~~

Thinking back, he didn't even reply the email I sent him this morning.

Actually, this is the first time I initiated contact with someone I unfriended.

Usually, when I delete someone from my life, that person's gone and that's it. I don't explain why and how and whatever - that person should have the common sense to reflect on him/herself.

However, this person is abit different...that's why I feel he needs some special attention. He needs to be told what has happened by me in person. Because I don't wish to be responsible for whatever might happen to him...due to his seemingly very weak mind...which kY keeps emphasizing to me. I have no idea what other factors/stresses he has in his life, but I am just gonna clarify the part that involved me.

~~~

Growing old does mature a person's mind.

As years pass by, I realized I have been crossing borders and doing things that I didn't think I would ever do...

I slowly observe changes in me as a human being, hopefully positive changes. ;^)


Hoping for better mindful days,
illZ.