cArouselling witH congezTed insecuritY.

i'M tiRed.

buT i cAn't sleeP.

beeN mezmerizinG myseLf withiN the soothinG voice of my goddezZ - fAye:





the tuNe iz so lighT and smileY.....but the lyricZ are tinTed witH potenT sAdnezz.

sometimeZ i feeL liKe one of the nAive horseS on a cArousel.....esp. recentlY. feelZ liKe i fleW aloNe hAlf wAy arouNd the gloBe to a lAnd of freedoM...buT actuAlly i fleW into anotheR unhAppy cAge filled witH restrictionZ.....

life iz reAlly shorT - and i wondeR whY humAnz keeP livinG? i'M liKe more thAn hAlf wAy througH witH my life.......and there'Re so mucH to do....some of whicH i hAve no abilitieZ to fulfilL................yeT. life fruztrAtez me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

beeN drinkinG alot lAtely....an equAl balAnce of wiNe and beeR....considerinG i juZ boughT an automAted ozteR wiNe openeR:




~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the lAb wAz so congezTed todAy.....wAnted to ruN a geL buT the geL areA wAz alwAyz kepT in uze...so i tooK the shuttLe to the chineZe minimArt @ mounT vernoN to buY rAw mAterialz to mAke muAaah chiiii and red/greeN beAn souP....my chefY instinctZ hAve been tinglinG withiN me....

returNed to lAb to hArvest cellZ at nighT...feelinG insecuRe abouT livinG in chApel bcuZ dR. Li spotTed 2 blAck guyZ tryinG to breAk into our houZe wheN he returNed for luncH....YEZ - in broAd dAylight.

welcoMe to bAltimore....argH. cAn't affoRd to moVe at alL......i cAn affoRd the renT of an apArtment...buT i don'T wannA sleeP in an emptY apArtment bcuZ i cAnnot affoRd to buY furnituRe yeT.


);
illZ...